“It doesn’t happen all at once,” he said. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
--The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
I currently have a bunny obsessed two year old. We love all things rabbit related, jumping up and down, hiding, running away (unfortunately this is often accompanied with shouting "can't catch me" at the top of her lungs across crowded shops - we're working on that!). She is a fan of the Velveteen Rabbit, as am I. If you aren't familiar with the story it's well worth a read, and if you are anything like me you may well shed a tear. During our recent bedtime cuddles, the words above resounded with me, they are said by the rocking horse to the Velveteen Rabbit when he is feeling unwanted. Even though I have called this blog 'Being (a Mummy and a Dancer)' neither of these things are, like being "Real", something that happens all at once. Being a mother is a process of becoming, something I am understanding even more now that I have two little people to whom I am Mummy. As a dancer I am constantly being challenged to reassess my ideas of who I am through the challenges of choreographic work or the surprises that come my way in an improvisation jam or capoeira roda.
In this adventure of motherhood I am discovering more and more about myself. As my elder daughter becomes more vocal I am beginning to see who I am in her eyes; a place of security where she can nestle when she is tired or scared, a provider of snacks, a voice of encouragement, the guardian of the television remote, her example of how to engage with the world, a hand of confidence and of course, the unreasonable adult who won't let her run off in the supermarket. As she is find her voice and her (quite fast!) feet in this world I am also finding mine. Becoming her and her sister's Mummy.
In this adventure of motherhood I am discovering more and more about myself. As my elder daughter becomes more vocal I am beginning to see who I am in her eyes; a place of security where she can nestle when she is tired or scared, a provider of snacks, a voice of encouragement, the guardian of the television remote, her example of how to engage with the world, a hand of confidence and of course, the unreasonable adult who won't let her run off in the supermarket. As she is find her voice and her (quite fast!) feet in this world I am also finding mine. Becoming her and her sister's Mummy.