Being a Mother: A lesson in Patience

Since our third daughter made her appearance into the world just over 9 weeks early I had been wanting to write something, mainly to help me in processing the emotional ups and downs of having a premature baby, but also in the hope that other parents might find some solidarity in the words, whether it is a situation they have been in or are currently living. This was written during our fourth week on the neonatal unit, we were all set to go home and then, as happens often during a baby’s stay on the unit, things changed and we were no longer going home. One of the hardest things for me along our journey was the not knowing. Specifically, not knowing when would be able to take her home and start finding our feet as a family of five, all under the same roof. It required patience, which has never been my strong point, though it became a daily practice whilst on the neonatal unit as I learnt not to anticipate, to pre-empt or to be disappointed when things did not happen at the pace I wanted, lessons that I will take with me into all aspects of being a mother and a dancer. I am delighted to say that we are now home and she is thriving.
 
 
As I sit and watch you grow
 
Our first meeting was so brief,
I didn’t want to let you go,
I wished to hold you in my arms,
To take you home and watch you grow.
 
I waited for a little while
to cuddle you and say hello,
I didn’t want to put you back,
but to hold you as you grow.
 
Your little face so beautiful,
Your little limbs like sticks of willow,
Sat by your side I have watched and waited,
As little by little you begin to grow.
 
I want you to come and stay with me,
in our home so we can show,
you the love that lives inside those walls,
and will never cease to flow,
 
For now though I will hold your hand,
Stroke your head, take your photo,
I will capture your little milestones,
As I sit and watch you grow.